Still Don't Quite want to talk about Things here... getting closer, though. Luckily I currently have some harmless non-things to talk about instead: like being fantastically drunk and not really noticing 'cause the only thing that mattered was the perfect crystalline purity of Needing To Pee.
(No, really. I went to a bar after work with a couple of co-workers and well-wishers tonight to watch the Ontario election debates and since I had food at home I didn't eat anything and rushed my last drink 'cause the debate was over and I had a Cat In A Questionable State waiting for me more than an hour away at home. When I left the bar I had the thought "Hmm. I need to pee. Maybe I should do that... nah, it's not that bad and I really want to get home." By the time I made it through my first connection from the bus to the subway it was clear I'd, um, made a huge mistake. So then the only thing to do was have an epic debate with myself about whether I'd get off at The One Stop I'd pass that actually claimed to have a loo before dismissing it with the thought that it might just be an Epic Trap 'cause it's also one of the biggest stations and I have no clue where this alleged toilet is and if it's not serviceable then I'd have doomed myself by going for looking for it.
Naturally by the time I'd gotten 3 stops past that station all I could think was "OMG I WHY DIDN'T I GET OFF AT THAT STATION? SHOULD I GO BACK? GAAAAAH! NEED TO PEE!!!" Then I had nothing to do for all remaining stops but to meditate on the crushing bodily experience of Really Needing To Pee. It was like my whole lower half and turned into pulsating concrete and there was only one way to become fully human again and that one way was still 20 minutes off. By the time I got off the subway each step was like that concrete throbbing and threatening to freeze me solid, crack and collapse the rest of me. By the time I made it home and through the door, beelining it straight for the washroom, all I could think is "Wow. What a vivid, amazing, and horrible feeling I'm about to terminate." And, pretty hilariously, as soon as I do terminate it my body is free to experience something else, which in this case turns out to be dizzying drunkenness... as in now my main thought is: "I'm not sure I can stand up now. Head spinning! Now WTF I'm a going to do?!" But eventually I do manage to stand up and to, more importantly, not fall down. Then all I have to do is make it the 15 or so steps to my bed where I can flop onto my back and be amazed at how I went from feeling like I was half made of stone with an attending solidity of focus to feeling like a helium balloon in the breeze).
If it wasn't in and around midnight I'd probably tell you some more about tonight (mostly about Steve Paikin, Lori Brown and the absence of guile) but since it is I'm afraid that all I've got to offer is the elimination of the need to pee (Ha!).
(No, really. I went to a bar after work with a couple of co-workers and well-wishers tonight to watch the Ontario election debates and since I had food at home I didn't eat anything and rushed my last drink 'cause the debate was over and I had a Cat In A Questionable State waiting for me more than an hour away at home. When I left the bar I had the thought "Hmm. I need to pee. Maybe I should do that... nah, it's not that bad and I really want to get home." By the time I made it through my first connection from the bus to the subway it was clear I'd, um, made a huge mistake. So then the only thing to do was have an epic debate with myself about whether I'd get off at The One Stop I'd pass that actually claimed to have a loo before dismissing it with the thought that it might just be an Epic Trap 'cause it's also one of the biggest stations and I have no clue where this alleged toilet is and if it's not serviceable then I'd have doomed myself by going for looking for it.
Naturally by the time I'd gotten 3 stops past that station all I could think was "OMG I WHY DIDN'T I GET OFF AT THAT STATION? SHOULD I GO BACK? GAAAAAH! NEED TO PEE!!!" Then I had nothing to do for all remaining stops but to meditate on the crushing bodily experience of Really Needing To Pee. It was like my whole lower half and turned into pulsating concrete and there was only one way to become fully human again and that one way was still 20 minutes off. By the time I got off the subway each step was like that concrete throbbing and threatening to freeze me solid, crack and collapse the rest of me. By the time I made it home and through the door, beelining it straight for the washroom, all I could think is "Wow. What a vivid, amazing, and horrible feeling I'm about to terminate." And, pretty hilariously, as soon as I do terminate it my body is free to experience something else, which in this case turns out to be dizzying drunkenness... as in now my main thought is: "I'm not sure I can stand up now. Head spinning! Now WTF I'm a going to do?!" But eventually I do manage to stand up and to, more importantly, not fall down. Then all I have to do is make it the 15 or so steps to my bed where I can flop onto my back and be amazed at how I went from feeling like I was half made of stone with an attending solidity of focus to feeling like a helium balloon in the breeze).
If it wasn't in and around midnight I'd probably tell you some more about tonight (mostly about Steve Paikin, Lori Brown and the absence of guile) but since it is I'm afraid that all I've got to offer is the elimination of the need to pee (Ha!).
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